conditions

Ying wants me to be in good conditions when I go back home. These days the word "condition" comes across my mind from time to time, so I'd like to talk about it. I'm not gonna write an organized article or something, just some random stuff.

I'm learning and want to learn a lot of stuff. I'm writing my own computer game using a computer language called Python; In research I collect several softwares from national labs and write my own, trying my best to work for my advisor as a postdoc associate which requires me in better conditions. Conditions? no no no. In the past almost 25 years I've stored many knowledge and experience, now in the next
25 years of my life I want to build them up into skills. Skills are independent of conditions, which just work no matter what.

Stepping on the soccer ball and pulling it with my right foot, I dribbled the ball past a player. Now this technique works for many times. I no longer depends on my sense and body condition when playing, because now I have techniques. I like this kind of feeling.

I reached level 24 in warcraft. A non-sponsored online clan "Warcraft Dream" is recruiting players above level 30, which are very rare. I already see the day when I reach level 30, in near future. Warcraft for me is like chess. I get a cup of black tea and play a game of "chess" with some unknown, in a snowing winter. This is life, man.

Be professional, is the way to go.

Christian camp

The place I went to last weekend is called Mukuonago, WI. The car I sat in has five people, and
the six hour road trip was not too bad, for me it's just loops of sleep, wakeup and sleep. I went camping with the same group of people this summer, which was scary. We six people shared a tent, then it rained hard, then the tent began to float, then water got in. Then we contacted with some people and got arranged to sleep on the floor in a random building. The frog in the bathroom also seemed scary too. Ok, going with the same group of people absolutely brought up the scary memory. However, this time everything was not so bad, besides no heating and snoring. I did learn a lot:

1. Suffering, death and resurrection. Most of people just want the resuccrection part and forget about the other two parts. In times of suffering and tests, endurance is critical.

2. The parables of ten talents in Matthew. You get your talents according to your ability, and you have to make them grow instead of just storing them. If you don't know how to multiply them, just putting them to bank is ok. Relating to faith, I thought it might mean our faith has to grow, if I don't know how, then just go to church.

going to Wakesha, WI this Friday

with COC. for a christian camp (no idea what it is)

fun in Warcraft

I played a lot of warcraft during these two weeks, with the results of almost 70 wins and 70 losts and getting level 21 on Battle.net. Maybe I should take a break and focus again on job hunting and research. But nevertheless I had a lot of fun experience "fighting" with others.

When I lost a game, I either type "gg" (good game) and quit or quit directly. When the enemy lost, they typically did one of the following:

1. gg and quit or just quit
2. beg for a mercy win. like "I'm only 7 any chance I could get a win?"
3. begin to bad talk. #$#@$@#%.
4. ask for pausing the game for going to restroom...

well, that's fine. It's just a game. Anytime when I feel offended, I count "1,2,3" in my heart before reacting. If still feeling bad, I count "4,5,6"..

yeah, there are lots of memorable moments in the game play. There was once when my hero, DemonHunter, lead the army and leveled up on the map. Then I felt like to go to the enemy base to see what's going on. At the moment when I saw twenty guard tower in his base, I almost bang my head to the computer screen.. Then this game lasted for an hour, I got exhausted and quit.
Also there was once I beat a kid (don't blame me, please), and he asked me to join a clan formed by his cousin. "how old are you?" "well, I'm in grad school." and so on

some small updates

1. I quit playing World of Warcraft temporarily and jumped to Warcraft III. Now I played 36 matches on battle.net on US East server, 18 wins and 18 losts. Gaming is not totally a waste of time, instead the competition in it can tune myself. Also when I lost a game I think why. Life is all about going forward or going back, which is the same as gaming. My goal is to reach level 30 on battle.net.

2. Still looking for a job. Got one phone call altogether. :(

3. My research is going pretty well. The productivity now exceeded that of past four years.

4. I will go back to China at Jan. 18th 2007 for wedding.

ps. for those who are still using Internet Explorer 4 or 5 (most likely 6), you can go to Microsoft IE7 to upgrade your internet browser to the 7th version, which is more stable and malware free.

in a year

I started to look for a job, trying to post resumes online first, since many companies started to hire for the next year. Where am I gonna be next year? I don't know. During the past four years, I made so many friends in Minneapolis, many of whom I lost contact with, but still dreaming of at night occasionally. Among them, I missed the international church group the most. July 2003, we went to a Thai restaraunt to celebrate the pastor's 52nd birthday. The pastor didn't have child, and we told him we were his children forever, from God. I recently got an email picture from him, which is me in 2003. That made me sad and warm at the same time, for everybody moves on and keeps good memory.

Bethany is also my friend, who I met way back to 2003 but just reconnected recently through chinese language group. She told me that she wanted to go to YunNan in China for a year and teach English. I told her back that good choice and that place is famous for crime and drugs. But since it's part of her graduate study and she can get scholarship, so I wish the best for her. Where are you gonna be next year? I wish the best for me and also the best for you.

quote from a book

I am reading the book "Get Hired Fast!" by Brian Graham. The following quote reminded me of "Batman Begins" which Karl gave a talk on.

"There are many ways to be a hero in life, and not all of them involve saving people from floods or burning buildings. Sometimes being a hero means quietly putting your ego and fears aside and doing what it takes to protect your future and that of your loved ones."

yeah, they are both on conquering fear..

2 faces

Everything has 2 faces: one positive and one negative. I did have a little difficulty with my fiance, but if looked from a different perspective the difficulty can serve as a chance for us to know each other better, or worse, totally depending on how we react.

I'm poor now, but that does not mean I'll be poor for ever. I pray that God please provide with me humbleness and prosperity at the same time.

Shamed

Fiance and I talked for a long time, and she and her parents talked, and they and my parents talked. There was only one topic oriented: my problem.

From the talk, I found myself so selfish, immature and insecure, and not any more the excellent dude I think I was. It's time to change myself, head to toe. It's unbelievable that I didn't realize the problem, or I realized it but just didn't want to face it.

Peace, modest and trust

Everytime I want to blog

Everytime I want to blog, I find my life WAY too complicated to blog about. only God understands..

It's difficult to get rid of me (and my blog)

Christine wants to pull off my blog link from her new blog? just because I don't update it. So now I am typing a "survival" entry.

Why didn't I update my blog?

1. laziness,
2. blank in my brain,
3. gosh I haven't played soccer or computer games for DAYS

nothing serious happened in the past month, so HANG ON!

vitamin

I bought some books on nutrition and learned that human eyes are made of vitamin A. After hours of programming or gaming, my eyes usually get tired and dry. So I bought some vitamin A pills. Then I was told vitamin A can not be metabolized without vitamen B, D, E. So I stopped taking pills and began eating more vegetables.

I also bought cook books, because I got tired of spontaneous food experiments. I downloaded a software which can remix music, together with some tutorials. I have a computer and want to make good use of it.

write write write

I need to practice my English more, since I'll apply for jobs, and write proposals or reports in future. I need to write more, and be careful about the grammar.

The only social interaction I have now is the Chinese language group, otherwise I live in my lab. Before I go back for wedding in 5 months, I need to finish a paper, attend a conference, start my thesis, apply for jobs, and also visit uncle Liu in Indiana who could give me serious financial help. I don't need money now, but will do if I can't get a job before Spring 2008. But no worry, God will provide a way. I have confidence in HIM.

After a soccer game, good food and a cup of sencha make me feel drowsy. Taking a nap in a summer Saturday afternoon sounds so comfortable..

Propose in MacDonald's

so this summer I went back to my small hometown in China. I met the girl, Ying, who I knew for a year. After one week's dating, she became my girlfriend. Then one week before I left to U.S., we went to MacDonald's,

me: let me tell you something: once I left for America, our relationship won't go up only by phone.

Ying: .. I have not thought about the future yet. Things happen too fast.

me: Having a relationship with you is great fun, but fun is not something you can keep. I want something real with you.

Ying: (after quiet for a moment) what do you want to do with me?

me: I'm thinking about marrying you.

Ying: (murmuring "I'm thinking about marrying you", flushed)
(after a while) "why do want to marry?"

me: (surprised by the question) because I want to be stable, yes I need stability in my life.

(quiet)

Ying: I'm not sure ..

me: (upset, unhappiness, sadness, and disappointment appear on my face) ..

Ying: (surprised by my reaction) ok, I've decided, tomorrow we go to get the marriage certificate. Now you can be happy again!


We did go. But I need a status affidavit from Minnesota state.